Mothers, the Children of Japan, Anti-Nuclear Rallies: Wake Up Americans!

Overwhelmed.  Exhausted.  I cannot think straight.  As a writer, as a mother, as a professor, I have to be able to think clearly. What to do first?  Write here?  Write my academic article on anti-nuclear mothers in real life and film?  Finish my book?  Write for the popular press?  Talk about it in my classroom?  March?  Protest on Wall Street?  What about all of the other environmental problems: fracking, toxics, tar sands, species extinction?  Ach!


In this piece, I want to share with you (among other things) the voices of the mothers and children of the Japanese Delegation. Sachiko Sato, a mother and organic farmer, and her children, Mina (13) and Yuuki (17), spoke in New York last week about their losses and the current disaster in Japan--their fears for the world at large.  They came here--to NYC--to the U.N.-- to be speak out against nuclear power.  The Japanese government is not listening, nor is the U.S government paying attention. You can watch and listen to the powerful testimonies of the Japanese Delegation here: http://politube.org/show/3285  This particular event took place on Friday, September 23, 2011.


I personally heard Sachiko and her children speak at the Gary Null event at the Ethical Culture Society, on Wednesday, September 21, 2011.  I spoke with them at length after.  The other important speakers at this event included: Gary Null, Harvey Wasserman, Vandana Shiva, Kevin Kamps, Greg Palast and Karl Grossman.  Null showed his powerful anti-nuclear film: Knocking on the Devil's Door. 


At this event, Sachiko Sato and her children told a heart wrenching story of all that they have lost--their farm, their friends and schools. They miss the "little" things like taking care of the chickens, and helping out at their mother's daycare center. Mina is sad that she will never get to sleep in the new bedroom that was being built for her.  There are five children in the family and this was to be Mina's first private bedroom.   They are isolated.  Bereft.  Lost.  The children have been living alone since their mother whisked them away from their home to safety a few days after March 11, 2011.  The Japanese delegation is calling on Americans to shut our plants down before we have a Fukishima disaster here.


All of these speakers addressed the problem of the greed, power and corruption of the nuclear industry worldwide. Null and others explained about the danger Indian Point poses to millions of New York City area residents. The plant is an easy target for attack by terrorists. It leaks. It is on a fault line. We have no evacuation plan if it should melt. It is only 25 miles from Manhattan--so millions of lives are at stake as well as the world economy.  Yet the NRC wants to extend its date for closure!  It makes no sense.  What is wrong with our government?

Shiva explained how in India, the government has "land grabbed' beautiful fertile farms and dismissed local governmental decisions (and the will of the people) to ban the building of new nuclear plants.  Thousands have been protesting (peacefully) in resistance to the building of such new plants.  Many innocent citizens have been shot at and killed.  In Koodankulam, protesters have at least temporarily stopped the opening of a new plant. I wrote more about this at Terraspheres.

Do we hear about the Indian protests in mainstream U.S. press?  Not much. 

Do we hear about the ongoing Japanese nuclear disaster in the U.S. press?  Barely.

These talks and Null's film scared me terribly. 

I also had the opportunity this past weekend, on October 1, 2011, to film/live-stream the C.A.N. anti-nuclear rally to Shut Down Indian Point.  Many of the speakers were Japanese women, such as  the mother Tomoi Zeimer, who a gave painful account of how scary it is for the families in Japan right now.  Many Japanese parents can't find food for their children to eat, or safe water for their children to drink.  School playgrounds are contaminated and whole communities are poisoned. The government is not evacuating their people from dangerous areas.  It is horrifying. Helen Caldicott, my heroine, was the keynote speaker and she called out for U.S. citizens to stand up and say 'enough is enough'!  I had a chance to interview Helen privately the next day.  I will post my interview with her soon.  She also spoke at the Occupy Wall Street rally last night.  Helen is a brilliant Australian physician who has been a staunch anti-nuclear activist since the 1980s. She told me she feels obligated as a physician to save lives and this sense of duty drives her to be an anti-nuclear activist.  She looks at nuclear radiation as a medical problem because she understands how it impacts human health. Caldicott says it is up to women to save this earth and to stop this madness. We have to find our voices, stop being afraid of speaking out, and stand up to the men who have their greedy fingers on the bomb, on nuclear power, and on other forms of environmental destruction.

I left this event and the October 1 CAN Rally concerned about the safety of where I live in Long Island--wondering if I should move away.  One of the leading Japanese green activists, Aileen Mioko Smith, with whom I spoke after the event, gave me haunting advice.  Aileen told me:

'When (not if) Indian Points melts, you won't be able to leave right away.  There will be chaos. The roads will be flooded with people trying to escape and with nowhere to go. So keep plenty of water. Keep enough canned food to last a few weeks.  If you have a basement, stay down there.  When the roads clear, drive far, far away.  You will be exposed to the radiation, but at least you will get away.  You will never be able to go home again.  The entire New York City region will be unsafe to live in for lifetimes. Thousands.'

I'm not moving anywhere just yet, but living downstream from Indian Point sure makes me stop and think.  Of course, where would I go?  Where is it really safe, anyway?  There are nuclear power plants in so many places.  There are toxic sites everywhere.  Radiation and toxins travel.  Rachel Carson taught us all that.  The point isn't to run away--it is to stop ignoring the dangers and take action.

In case you don't know--23 US reactors are identical to those at Fukushima-Daiichi.  The GE Mark 1 containment vessels (those in Fukushima and here) have serious design problems. GE has known about this since Dale Bridenbaugh and other engineers resigned over the design of the containment vessels in the 1980s. Why has our government ignored this information for all this time?  Why have so many children been forced to suffer because of this criminal negligence?

Japan and the U.S. are silent on this issue.  In Germany and other countries throughout Europe, nuclear plants are being shut down. Where can't Americans force the U.S. Government to abandon nukes as well?

I will leave you with some beautiful photographs, taken by my fourteen- year old daughter, of Tomoi Zeimer and the orphan baby she adopted from Ibaragi (next to Fukushima).  Ibaragi is a highly contaminated area, full of hot spots.  Tomoi spoke passionately at the rally about her fears for the people of Japan, for her baby's birth mother (who is in high school there), for her sisters, for the children who are suffering.... Tomoi worries, also, because many of the folks in Japan are in denial and she finds this to be "very spooky."

On the way home from the rally, my daughter asked me: "Mom, are we going to die?"  I told this to Helen Caldicott the next day, and she said, "that is why we have to shut these 104 plants down.  That is why we have to disarm our nuclear weapons."

Afterward: on the drive to work today, I heard from a good friend who met a young officer who works for the U.S. Navy.  I will not name names.   The officer is a nuclear physicist and an engineer.  His job is to travel round the world to study levels of radiation in areas that are contaminated.  He spent several months in Japan after March 11, 2011 and the Fukushima accident.  He said the radiation levels were shockingly high--way off the charts.  Yet the Japanese government covered it up, and said the wind would blow the 'small' amounts of radiation away!  The government told their people it was nothing to worry about.  They are still doing this.  What about the American government?  What about the rest of the world?  This is an abomination and a crime of the highest order.  And, it CAN happen here.

I am mortified.  I am called to action.   Please heed this call: get involved.  Express your outrage.  It is time to march.

Activists prevented Shoreham Nuclear Power Plant from going forward in Long Island.  Andrea Merkel has vowed to decommission all nuclear plants in Germany.   It can be done here.

We Shall Overcome.  We MUST! 

Eco-Warrior and My Heroine: Wangari Maathi Died Last Night

Kenyan Dr. Wangari Maathai, the first woman from Africa to win the Nobel Peace Prize, and the first woman in East or Central Africa to hold a PhD, died late Sunday night after a battle with cancer. She was 71.  She is survived by three children and one grandchild.  Her death was a surprise to many.

Maathi is one of my most revered environmental and human rights heroines.  Her beautiful, beaming face and many pictures and posters flank my office walls.  I have read all of her books with deep fascination--especially her autobiography, Unbowed-- a story of tremendous courage, adversity and triumph.  As a woman in a very patriarchal society, Maathi battled for her every achievement. 

Maathi selflessly fought for the earth and the rights of women and children throughout her lifetime. Her Green Belt Movement helped to restore ravaged landscapes and has saved countless lives. The millions of trees women planted (yes, Maathi  started her movement as a means to help the land and women and children), helped to restore soil quality (for farming and otherwise) and also provided firewood (fuel) for cooking, water, and heat.  Maathi showed the world that planting trees is both empowering for women and it is good for the earth.  So far, The Greenbelt Movement has planted over 40 million trees. 

It wasn't always easy for Maathi.  Not one bit.  A brilliant and highly educated woman was not welcomed in her culture--not at first.  During her lifetime, Maathi was brutally beaten by police, jailed, and she went through a nasty divorce with a husband who admitted to being quite displeased with her strength.  Maathi wore a lot of hats--scientist, professor, mother, activist, environmentalist, writer, politician.  She was and is a role model to all women everywhere.

In my teaching on environmentalism (I'm a professor of  English, Sustainability, and Women's Studies), we read a lot of depressing information about environmental degradation, and about how human beings are driven to poverty and despair as a result of the ravaging of our earth and natural resources.  In order to help my students learn that it is possible to successfully combat environmental degradation, in one of our class assignments, I ask that my students create research and presentation projects on an environmental hero.  Of course, Maathi is one of the most important figures in this group of eco-warriors. 

It is for this reason my office walls are covered with posters and pieces of art with Maathi's words, photographs, and images.  These student projects are a testament to Maathi's strength, inspiration, and power.

She will be missed.  

We should all plant trees in her honor.

To hear and see Maathi speak, watch here: http://greenbeltmovement.org/w.php?id=93
To learn more about Maathi, her life and work, see her Greenbelt Movement site: http://www.greenbeltmovement.org/w.php?id=59


Published originally at TerraSpheres: http://www.terraspheres.com/blogs/wangari-maathi-eco-warrior-and-human-rights-acivist-dies

TRAIN WRECK of an anti-environmental bill: TRAIN Act H.R. 2401

This past week, the House of Representatives passed a shocking anti-environmental bill that stands in the way of two important public health safeguards against air pollution. The TRAIN Act H.R. 2401, spear-headed by the anti-environment Rep. Eric Cantor,  blocks requirements that would limit mercury emissions from power plants and would limit pollution that travels across state lines. The act also endangers the health of all communities.  

Many refer to the Train Act as a Train Wreck.   How can our leaders put big business before the health of our children?  Study after study links air quality to good health.  The EPA's recent report, The Benefits and Costs of the Clean Air Act from 1990 to 2020, found that reducing air pollution through the Clean Air Act will save $2 trillion by 2020 and prevent over two hundred thousand deaths annually.  Fortunately, the President has said he will veto the Train Act if it gets to his desk.  Tell your senators to vote against the Train Act, and support President Obama in his promise to veto it!

Environmental and public health  groups (as listed below) issued the following statement after the shocking House vote:

“We are heartened by the President’s strong stand against the TRAIN Act and against pollution with his promise to veto this dangerous legislation.  His leadership will keep Americans from being forced  to breathe smog and other dangerous air pollutants.  We call on the U.S. Senate to stand strong and  reject the TRAIN Act and its deadly impacts on public health.  Hundreds of thousands of asthma attacks and heart attacks and tens of thousands of premature deaths can be prevented with common  sense clean air safeguards proposed by the Environmental Protection Agency."

“The House today showed they have bought the false argument that we need to choose between protecting lives and creating jobs. Now we need the Senate and the President to protect our right to  breathe.”


Environment America
Natural Resources Defense Council
Sierra Club
League of Conservation Voters
US Climate Action Network
League of Women Voters
Environmental Defense Fund
Earthjustice

Read more about the Train Act here: http://earthjustice.org/blog/2011-september/house-passes-train-actwreck

By Heidi Hutner.  Original Post from: http://www.terraspheres.com/blogs/house-passes-shocking-anti-environment-train-act-or-train-wreck

The Japanese Delegation Speaks about the Fukishima Disaster

This week in New York City, a delegation of families, farmers, and spokespersons from Japan has come to tell the story of the Fukishima disaster to the U.N.  They are speaking, as well, at various public locations in NYC.  They want to share their stories and tell the world, "It is time to stop nuclear power."  I've listed the dates and times for these talks in my previous post on "Green Events."  Tonight, I will hear them speak at the Ethical Culture Society (5-9), and I will share more about this afterwards.

The two countries that have not learned from the Fukishima disaster are Japan and the U.S.

In the U.S., we have 23 reactors that are identical to those that melted in Fukishima and some of our reactors are in precarious geological positions (faultlines) where they are threatened by future earthquakes.

Are we crazy?

What are we waiting for?  It is time to mobilize and shut our plants down now.  Our children's lives are at great risk.

The Japanese delegates speak here:

GREEN EVENTS 9-19-10-1 and a visit from Fukishima Families in NYC

This is a busy time for anti-nuclear, fracking, climate change and other green activism.  I’ve created a short list of green talks, rallies, and other events taking place mostly in NYC.  You can find the “Green Events” list at the end of this blog piece.  In future lists, I'll highlight events elsewhere as well.

For this week’s list, I’ve highlighted an important series of events including talks and discussions by a delegation of Japanese families who have been impacted negatively by the radiation released from the nuclear plant meltdowns in Fukishima since March 11, 2011.  They are coming to the U.S. to share their stories. This week we have a rare opportunity to learn about this nuclear disaster from live, powerful first-hand accounts.

One of the speakers, Kaori Izumi--director of Shut Tomari-- states, “The immense suffering of people affected by the Fukushima-Daiichi disaster can only be given meaning if we now learn from this catastrophe and those that preceded it at Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Three Mile Island, Chernobyl and elsewhere.”

The delegation of families from Japan have come to NYC to appeal to the UN High Commission on Human Rights to recognize and address the plight of children in the Fukushima region. Many of these children were not evacuated far enough – or at all – out of harm’s way from the radiation contamination from the reactor meltdowns. The speakers also ask that the Fukushima disaster becomes a new opportunity for the world to shut down all nuclear power plants.

The members of the Japanese delegation include Sachiko Sato, an organic farmer from Fukushima and a board member of “Fukushima Network for Saving Children from Radiation” and her 13- and 17-year old children, Mina and Yuuki who will talk about the disruption and damage to their lives and livelihoods; Yukiko Anzai, a resident near the restarted Tomari reactor, who will talk about the fate of farmers after the meltdowns; Kaori Izumi, director of Shut-down Tomari, who will discuss the unhealthy and corrupting relationship between government, business, the media and pro-nuclear intellectuals and the Japanese judiciary. They also include Aileen Mioko Smith, Executive Director of Green Action and a veteran anti-nuclear campaigner in Japan who will speak about the plight of Japan’s children and the petition she submitted on their behalf to the UN.

Hearing the voices of the Japanese families is important to our understanding of the catastrophic events in Fukishima since March 11, 2011.  As we consider the future of nuclear power in the U.S. and throughout the world, we need to understand the risks, dangers and realities of such disasters on local children, families, farms, economies, and more.  Come listen to the families speak.


I will go and listen, and then I'll write. 



*                *                *              *            *             *               *             *               *
Green Events (mostly in NYC):

--September 19, 2011  8:30 p.m.  Busboys & Poets, Langston Room, 2021 V St, NW, Washington, DC. Tel: 202.387.7683.  The Japanese Delegation will speak.

--Sep 21, 2011 5:00-9:00 pm.  Ethical Culture Society, 2 West 64th Street at Central   Park West in New York City.  Film showing of:  Knocking on the Devil's Door: Our Deadly Nuclear Legacy, directed by Gary Null.  Special presentations will be given by Gary Null, Harvey Wasserman, and the Japanese Delegation.   (tickets: $25; $15 for students).
                      
--Sep 22, 2011 noon.  Friends Meeting House, 15 Rutherford Place  NYC.
Meeting with Delegation of Japanese families from Fukushima.

--Sep 22, 2011  2 pm. 250 Broadway City Council Hearing on Hydrofracking
16th Floor.  NYC. Committee Room Revised Environmental Impact Statement Impact.

--Sept. 22  7-9:00 pm.   Cooper Union’s Great Hall 7 East 7th Street.  NYC
Food Rights and Peace:  An Evening with Frances Moore Lappe, Vandana Shiva, and Anna Lappe. (Free)

--Sep 23, 2011  7:00  pm.   Center for Remembrance Sharing,  123 4th Ave (2nd Floor) NYC
Meet and hear report from the Japanese Delegation from Fukishima.

--Sep 24, 2011  2:00 pm.  Converging on UN 47th St & 1st Ave. NYC
Moving Planet: Bike/ Walk Rally opposing Climate Change, 350.org., Anti-nuclear Rally.


--Sept 25, 9:30-5:30pm.  26^th St @ Pier 46  NYC Friends of Clearwater Water Festival. Talks on nuclear power and fracking with Ken Gale (WBAI) and Chris Williams

 --Oct 1, 2011 12:00-3 pm. Pier 95, 55th St & 12th Ave. NYC
Coalition Against Nukes in NYC  (rallies taking place throughout the
U.S.  locations listed here http://www.coalitionagainstnukes.org/) Anti-Nuclear Power Rally in NYC with Dr. Helen Caldicott, Harvey Wasserman, Karl Grossman, Alice Slater, Kevin Kamps, John Hall.


If you would like to suggest events to be included and posted in my future “Green Events” lists of happenings, email your requests to: hjhutner@gmail.com.


This post is available at  TerraSpheres as well-- where I am editor (and a writer) of the environmental section called "Planet".

Celtic Voices

It is relief not to want
not to want
instead to be content
with words
with wind
with waves
or a grey billed bird
with a red feather
on its head
preening
or the sound of a
neighbor's mandolin

at three am

windows wide

voices celtic clear
harmonizing
strings
these are the mysteries
that appear
so much better
than all that
wanting

The earth is falling on my head

I love this image  by my friend Chip Thomas, the wheat pasting photographer and medical doctor on the "Rez" in Shonto, AZ.  It speaks volumes.

©chip thomas

September

Sweet morning
writing

sleeping child
(she's taller now)

stories
remembering

all the ones who

died

remembering
all those
whose
fingers
playfully
touch/ed
poisons

who
wake to
Fukushima
(and everywhere)

Are we
sleeping?
listening?

there is birdsong
late summer crickets
patter of waking feet
drawers opening

the gift of a new day
the gift of solitude

A New Semester: Teaching Environmentalism and Living Through Irene the Hurricane

So you think it only takes place in books and movies?

Two books I teach regularly deal with post-Apocalyptic narratives--Parable of the Sower (Octavia Butler) and Into the Forest (Jean Hegland).  I spent the summer weeding through a few more: Kunstler's The Long Emergency, The World Made By Hand, and Atwood's Year of the Flood.  I also spend much of my time contemplating nuclear disaster, climate change scenerios, and dire water predictions.

So, when a week ago my house rocked back and forth from the earthquake, and a few days later a tornado and hurricane struck my neighborhood-- and, in the middle of the night there was a large blast of sound and red in the trees behind my house that signalled "fire"--I fearfully wondered: what if?

What if? 

I know one thing; I have no ability to survive in a world made by hand.   I have no survival skills.   If "it" happened right now-- my little family would be the first to go.  I can't build a windmill, a generator, a house, or grow food.  I don't recognize wild edible plants.  I can't make fire.  I am not prepared.

So, here I am.  Long Island: 2011.  In the first day post- storm, driving was risky.  Many trees and electrical wires were down.  They still are.  The streets were pretty empty and there was/is no word about when the lights will come back on.  Gas was scarce for a few days, so I stayed put.  What was the point of leaving?  After the storm ended, I charged my cell phone in my car and listened to the radio there.  Most of the world seemed to be carrying on, and there was no information about our burn-out or predictions about when stuff would come back on.  It's four days into post-Irene: and many of us still have no electricity, no internet, no landline phones, no warm water.  Laundry is piling up.  Our refrigerators are full of rotting food.  Nobody seems to know when things will return to normal.


The libraries (the ones that are open) are jam packed with folks trying to work.  I'm huddled in one now.

My university, where I teach, was open for business yesterday, though.  So, while I might be camping at home,  I needed to get there to teach my first class.

I left bright and early, hoping to get my syllabi printed out for my students and accomplish other work on my office computer.  Plans thwarted:  I got a flat on the way.   The local tire stores didn't have electricity, so I had to drive quite a distance to get help on a lousy spare.  It was nerve racking.  Would I find something on time?  Would I have a second flat?  It took several hours to fix things, which meant that I arrived on campus with only five minutes to find my new classroom.

It isn't the end of the world.  Not yet.  So, I  arrived with no syllabi to hand out.  So what?  I managed to text a student to ask her to pick up some films from the library I wanted to show.  That worked.  The students will get their syllabi copies in the next few days.

Still, it makes you think.

This event is a perfect one for our class topic of Environmental Literature and Film.

What if?  And, why?  And, how might we do things differently to prevent the worst from happening?  How must we change the way we live and what we call "normal"?

---------------------------------------------------------

So here is something you can do right now:

Join the campaign to write a million letters to Governor Cuomo of NY to Ban Fracking (hard copies).  Enlist others to do the same.  All the information you need is at this link. Tomorrow, there will be a great film you can watch there, too:

www.amillionfrackingletters.com

Tar Sands Film by Josh Fox: What You Should Know and Why You Should Protest

Tar Sands Action/ Josh Fox from JFOX on Vimeo.



Bill McKibben just out of jail... :

Song for the Ocean

Speaking of ecology and interconnections: I saw Kristin Hoffman perform for the first time in Northport Village, NY and sang harmony with her on a Joni song a few months ago; then Carolyn Raffensperger posted this fabulous song of hers on FB (link above), and I watched and said, "Wow. I just met this woman! Small world!" Been thinking of Kristin ever since and wanting to reconnect with her somehow, and on my last morning at Omega Institute this past week, as I was chewing on my breakfast, Kristin walked by and I recognized her yet again. We huggged and she told me where she'll be playing this week back home.  What a small and amazing world. When you want to see someone, just close your eyes, and there they are. 


Take a listen to this gorgeous song Kristin wrote about our precious oceans.

A poem in Chronogram Magazine

My poem, "Long Island Sound", is in the August, 2011 edition of Chronogram Magazine:

Long Island Sound


The same swans waiting
Year after year
long black beaked
We are still walking
Each time the sky is different
Orange, ridged in black
My arms floating
He prances up through the grass
Steps back in that moment
Criss-crossing the sand
He looks for me

You said she lay in your arms
Wind flowing through the promise of
Beautiful white breasts
Your hand across her small oval stone
Slices of blue on light
That crease and cause the fusion

Then, it all passes

Vanishing into the future of pregnancy and birth
Apocalypse

Others, tossing their sex into each other’s nets
Year after year, successfully loving
Successfully married couples, coupling

While the feeble fail
Skimming small waves
Licking the edge of sand
Licking the broken oar
A dark cloud rises

Omega: A goblin and many secrets

Visiting Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY during family week:  this morning  I was startled by the tangled morning glories on a wooden fence. I miss them so; my yard at home won't host glories for some reason.  When I lived in New York City, my window boxes were filled with them and they crawled up the sides of the old frames.  I love that Omega has an organic vegetable garden at its center with young folks picking and digging and tending--slowly, in unison, as a perfect dance.  For some reason I feel as if I'm in some futuristic science fiction ecofeminist novel--perhaps Woman on the Edge of Time.  I am also reminded of places I've lived, visited, and loved~such as the berry land of the San Juan Islands and Celo Community.

Things I like:
1) the plantings--flowers, veggies, green
2) the kindness of people (they look in your eyes, stop and ask you how you are and really listen, and share honestly about themselves)
3) crazy hairdos (turbans, wildness, shaved heads, colorful scarves, dreadlocks)
4) flowing skirts and scarves
5) impulsive wild laughter
6) mixed ages--babies and the very old
7) mixed human cultures (I've been practicing my french)
8) tennis in the rain
9) teenagers wear antlers and pointy ears
10) spontaneous hugging
11) dancing, dancing, dancing
12) groundhogs
14) sunshine on the lake
15) the little forest people
16) singing pete seeger on the porch with Izzie on guitar with a host of folks~young, old, black, yellow and white
17) my daughter is a goblin with a sword of many secrets (they won the battle)
18) a startling show of masks and rock and roll

Oh glory that humans can dream up such fanciful beauty~

Oh glory that I am here~

Oh amazing grace how sweet you are~

My dream:
That we should all find and build sustainable, loving, beautiful communities to live and be in, in a permanent way (such as permanence goes!)~not just short term visits (although these are good for learning and rejuvenation).   Oh, yes, we need to create and support human communities that contribute to, but do not drain, our planet's precious and gifts!

What is a new poem?

I want to tell you about The Long Emergency 

And talk to you of the vanishing bees

Just as I want to touch the crease and wrinkles 
On the sides of your eyes

The slack aging skin of your jaw

And take you inside me

And hear of your protests at the Nevada Test Site

And listen to you tell me of prison

And inhale your chemistry lessons

Just as I tell you to look in my eyes

And speak of the two children in red

(Our children)

Each book I read has a reference

To the sea where you are now

Each day I move closer

To the light beneath the water

At night understanding more

Yet you do not know my days!

Or see my words!

You make love to others--

Do they read of the end of the world, too?

Do they read of the heat and the tar?

Do they read of the explosions in the desert?

Only I can know

As I go deeper into the carbon

And the fossil

And the shale

Who you are

Summer Reflections

Environmental over-load and unfortunate sad stories.  Three parents of my daughter's peers  have died from cancer within the last two months.  Lovely people.  Devoted mothers and fathers.  All under fifty.  Another friend is dying of lung cancer.  Another dear friend is doing well post breast cancer treatment (radiation).  I just had a mole removed that might be melanoma.  I'm scared.  I'm hoping it is nothing, but I cannot help but worry.  I'm also due for the full round of tests--colon, breast, blood.  None of these tests are fun (blood being the least bothersome), but all are deeply nerve wracking and fear grips me right in the solar plexis.  My mind races to the worst; unfortunately, I can see the outcome of these cancers quite vividly, as I have sat near too many bedsides of the dying.

The thing is: we all know so many people in the same situation, and we're all living in this kind of high intensity state of environmental fear.  A perpetual eco trauma. 

It is in moments like these that I don't like doing this work.  When I'm in my own personal panic, I don't want to read about nuclear radiation in Japan poisoning children and leaking into the seas, or about toxics, fracking, tar sands, deforestation, and all the rest.

I want to escape into the world of Anne of Green Gables.  I want to walk in the woods, throw off my clothes, jump into a pond of cool green water. 

Maybe that is why I send my daughter to a camp that is from another time.  They don't play competitive sports, or do computer art, or put on fancy plays, or get in buses and travel the country, or learn how to make robots. Instead, they farm,  sleep outside, swim in the lake, cook in the kitchen.  They make simple crafts in the woodshop.  They put on on a play in a barn and wear costumes cobbled together by hand.  They folk dance and sing.  They go on a canoe trips and hike up a mountain or two or three.

Oh to a more simple time I long to go!

Fracking: Hydraulic Fracturing 101

Fracking: Water Quality

Fracking: Air Quality

Red Riding Hood

a hand in the dark
careful what you wish for
spoken only in sleep

wild storms wild love

you were covered in fur

tore
from me
that
crashing

what wound had you 
carried 
in your skin
what cancer burn

that love
sweet love

could
not
stick

Luminescent Motherhood

Olivia sleeps with the light on

dreaming of horses and ice skates

throws herself upside down

on bruised knees kicking  

arms locked around

this flat heart

I miss the nursing child

baby in the sling

gums on my chin

calling, Mama nuna

I thought when god gave

me a baby

she would stay

a baby

but she grows longer, longer, longer

when will she die

or leave me?

when will I die

or leave her?

have I left already?

would I feel such shyness

if I had had more children?

or if I had not

lost everything

including my

eyebrows and pubic hair?

or if my parents had

died happy deaths?

mother under serene white

lights hallow

nurse telling me to

rub her dry skin with lotion

feet peeling with disease

(for years) I could not bear to

touch or see her epidermis

waiting for my mother to die

too quickly in the ICU

asking for her other daughter

father broken head

big body no longer

wrapped but zipped and

carried off by stranger men--

after we so many hours, sung

Joel's rabid guitar

by the rivers of Babylon

where he sat down

and there he wept

how did the sun

do this?

do I cry out?

(what that spindly spider child

wove and dug

under my baby's skin

taking the prescient

precious red)

about my own cancer?

about such volumes of bluegrey bile?