Wednesday, September 4, 2013


Hello, it's Rosh Hashanah, meaning a new year.

What will you do this New Year?

What do you have to be sorry for and did you apologize to all those whom you might have hurt?

The book of life.

We have a week.

We're about to go to war, for the sake of something. What something?

We will kill to save more lives? To make a point? To show our strength?

I dropped her off tonight and did not go.

Feeling sorry for myself, on the freeway, in the car.  My car.  My car. My car.

My mother the car.

When I realized when something breaks down.

There is no one to call.

Imagine how those children feel in countries where their parents
are bombed.

We only know the fragmentation of the bombs.

It's after effects.

That's America.

No, that's callus and forgetful.

We had 9/11.

But since the civil war in the 19th century, what wars have we
known?  Directly?

Again, callous and forgetful, I will look to orion.  So many American soldiers.

I'm sorry.  It's the week of I'm sorry.  Yom Kippur coming right up.

What do I know?

Our bodies indirectly know.

Through cancer.  Through the street people and the homeless.

Through Agent Orange and Depleted Uranium and Chemical Warfare.

All those test bombs.  oh those.

Do we see them?

A terrible mother,  I am.

Sorry.  Sorry.  Sorry.

Sorry VERY Sorry for bombing your country.

Sorry is no enough.


What else is there?

1 comment:

muzuzuzus said...

I found your poem which moved me because I was thinking deep about horror, and it is fukin painful to think and feel it, and for some kind of comfort I Googled 'Ecopsychology despair'--didn't find anything to comfort, so typed 'Ecofeminism despair agent orange' and found your blog post and could sense you were feeling me.
I sometimes feel as MUCH discomfort hearing people write or talk about horror as I do seeing it or knowing it, because they can seem to talk and write about it unfeelingly. There is not that sense of wretching loss for words rocking two and froness-inside--kind of thing. Their 'sincere' words brutalize me further. I looked at this article by the BBC about the use of agent orange, and there was a picture of a young human, and he had a head that was conical shaped and big bulging eyes, and I could not look at this picture for more than a few seconds, and tried again---no. I mean, kids know what it is like to feel you are 'different --at school etc, and the hell you can go through, and then you see a child whose DNA is horrifically damaged so they look like nothing human or animal. How does that person deal with that? How do we deal with that? What words can we use? How many times can we say 'that is evil that is evil'? I came to a stop when I read this: "Such dualisms inherently create a hierarchy, with the subordinated and oppressed counterpart (on the right of the list) invariably associated with the female, subordinate realm. Simultaneously, the dualistic pairs are interlinked and interrelated. Just as women have been systematically "backgrounded", their contribution to life unacknowledged, so too has the natural world become a mere backdrop to the great human ascent. "A dualism," she says, "is more than a relation of dichotomy, difference, or non-identity, and more than a simple hierarchical relationship. In dualistic construction, as in hierarchy, the qualities (actual or supposed), the culture, the values and the areas of life associated with the dualised other are systematically and pervasively constructed and depicted as inferior" (p.47)." Val Plumwood's Feminism and the Mastery of Nature: A Review That word "backdrop" hit me like a brick. I first was turned onto the psychedelic LSD when 15, prior to that in those short years (very long to a kid) school and culture had made me see Nature as a backdrop--as dead, dull, I threw litter at it and was obsessed with the big city. But psychedelics--for me--remembered me that nature is VERY VITALLY ALIVE AND SACRED. And the thought of what those evildoers did with their Agent orange, and nuclear bombs, and depleted uranium etc etc---they are stuck fast in this evil spell where they are dead and do see nature dead and do that horror. I just got that insight and it is painful. we HAVE to feel pain, and wake up to the horror being down and all stand up against it!!!